I probably shouldn’t post here while pissed off, but I just received one of the lamest telemarketing calls ever.

The message on my voicemail starts as if the caller was cut off while mentioning the URL he was calling about (I run so many sites that I haven’t a clue which one he was looking at), and then gives me the following “bad news”:

“My name is Andre and I’m calling from Internet Advancement (www.internetadvancement.com). I’m calling because I run analysis on sites like yours, and what I have found is communication code errors which is preventing your site from being indexed in the major search engines online. You must call me as soon as possible so that we can find a fix at (425) 882-8838.”

sigh…What the hell are communication code errors? Are they like the javascript syntax errors displayed when I load your site? And what exactly does “sites like yours” mean? Andre, I just checked your site and you rank for none of the services you offer. You have 10 backlinks in Google (didn’t even bother checking Yahoo or MSN), one of which is from “Dr. Ruth Footcare Products”. Not exactly related to SEO, is it? In fact, your own site isn’t even optimized. Every page in your site has the exact same title tag of “Internet Advancement”. Maybe I should be offering you internet marketing services?

A simple search on Google for “internet advancement” turns up this article from The Seattle Times where the company was ordered to refund customers for making false SE ranking promises and pay $24,432 to the state for costs incurred as well as a civil penalty of $25,000. A post by Rand at SEOmoz from just a few weeks ago gives detailed information about his dealings with reps from internet advancement, as well as some additional resources exposing their shady history.

I’m sure everyone has received similar phone calls from boiler room salespeople pushing false information and even more false ranking promises. It’s nothing new. My hope is if we all keep reiterating the fact that internet marketing telemarketing should be completely avoided, some unsuspecting victims may be spared.

I guess I could have called Andre back and asked what site he was referring to and exactly what his proposed “fix” is, but I figured I wasted enough time listening to this guy’s voicemail. Probably good for a laugh, but I’m just too busy.

Isn’t the point of search engine marketing to offer products, services, and information when people are actually looking for it, not by using extremely obtrusive methods such as cold calling? Get a clue, Internet Advancement.